It may not be easy with clear tail signs to tell If your partner is pulling away but you sure can tell if he or she is beginning to act differently. If you feel your partner is pulling away then you most likely might be experiencing a confusing time which can ignite some deep-seated fears and insecurities.
Maybe you just have a feeling that something is “off” with your partner. Maybe you’ve noticed that the energy between you two is waning off.
If you observe this happening in your relationship, try not to jump to conclusions about what’s causing the distance. Instead, it’s best to broach the subject with your partner and ask what have been on their mind say, relationship experts.
Besides that unsettling gut feeling, what are some of the other indications your partner might be losing interest? We asked therapists to share some of the signs so you know what to look out for.
When you try to connect, they ignore or pull away.
“If you feel like you have to ask (or nag) your partner for more attention, it’s likely they’re losing interest,” says relationship expert. “In healthy relationships, attempts to gain our partner’s attention, affection or support are met in positive or affirming ways. When relationships become strained, these attempts are ignored or met with negative responses.”
There’s nothing wrong with asking for what you want in a relationship. After all, you can’t expect your partner to be a mind-reader. That said, if you feel like you’re constantly asking your S.O. for basic things like their attention and affection, and those requests are ignored, it might mean they’ve checked out of the relationship.
“When a person has lost interest in the relationship, he or she does not feel sadness or grief around ‘losing’ the relationship because he or she has already processed it and let it go,” psychologist Anne Crowley said.
They’re Neglecting You In Bed
Even if your partner is checking out emotionally, they may still be down to get it on. This can be, for obvious reasons, positively confusing. Yes, they still want to have sex, and that makes you feel connected. But are they meeting your needs at all? If not, their selfishness could be a sign they’re just interested in a hookup, and not your future as a couple.
They Text Back Less And Less
If before your partner couldn’t get enough of you, but now texting feels like pulling teeth. “That’s one of the first telltale signs,” psychiatrist Dr Dion Metzger tells Bustle. “They don’t respond to your texts as fast, [and] may not check-in or tell you about their plans.” When they can’t be bothered to tell you about their life — or simply don’t want to — it’s often because they are pulling away.
They cancel a lot on you
If he or she suddenly becomes too busy to keep plans, it’s always one excuse or another, he has to work, has to see his friends, she has to go to the gym or whatever the excuse might be. The point is that whatever it is, it keeps knocking you off the priority list.
Occasionally cancelling might be true but cancelling all the time is rude, and a guy who cares about you will make you a priority, so this is a clear a sign of him pulling away. But if cancelling is not the norm and he’s not showing a lot of the other signs here, it’s also possible that it’s just a hectic time, and since he feels that things are more established between you, you’ll understand. Most importantly, pay attention to how often it happens. If it’s nearly constant, you need to talk with him about it, but you don’t need to panic. That will come across clearly, and it won’t help matters.
They are no longer attentive
If he seems like he’s not focused on you when you talk, not responding much or not as interested in what you have to say, he could be pulling away because he’s not interested. A man who doesn’t want to be with you will often seem like he’s just not present because mentally and emotionally, he’s not.
But it’s also possible he’s distracted because of other things going on in his life. You need to look at the big picture. Is there something special going on in his life? Is he tired? Is he not feeling well? When people are stressed out, or sick, or tired, they can’t focus, regardless of the importance of the thing needing their attention.
He’s only human, and over the course of the relationship, he’s not going to be able to focus on you and give you all of his attention all of the time. So step back and set aside your feelings for a moment to consider if there are reasons for his lack of attentiveness that might have nothing to do with you.
You Feel It In Your Gut
Sometimes it’s hard to shake the gut feeling that something is wrong. So if it’s really nagging you, go ahead and listen. “It goes along with the old saying that when there’s smoke, there’s usually fire,” Metzger says. “When you get that gut feeling, just start looking at the facts.” Is your partner actually texting back less? Are they truly acting more annoyed? If so, you may have been right along.
Realizing that your partner is pulling away can be upsetting, to say the least. But never fear. Talking about it, and being honest about your worries, can definitely help.